Double Dead
by jdsnape
Summary: I am now in Middle Earth, I am so not amused by this considering I already had a misadventure in the Death Note world! The "hilarity" continues as a FanFic enthusiast finds herself in yet another dimension. *Complete*
1. Nope, Nope, Nope

**A/N: **Please read I'm Dead. This is the second in the series of 'Misadventures of a Fanfic enthusiast'

* * *

I start to really notice details now, like the children don't look young, hairy feet, old man with a cloak and a stick ... Merry ... Pip

"You've got to be FUCKING kidding me!"

* * *

Nope nope nope ah hell farking nope. Orcs, trolls, horrible creatures of the shadows.

Oh come on I was joking when I thought I wanted to be somewhere cooler like middle earth.

Was trapped in the Death Note world, now this shit!

What fun am I suppose have in this place! No place is untouched by evil in the end. Save Boromir! Shut up Boromir fan girls! I am not going to save Boromir. In fact I didn't give two hoots that he died, I was more worried for Merry and Pip. Hobbit fan girl here for the win.

Speaking of which, they are right in front of me still. Wow. they are so fat. How do they walk with such excess weight. How do you? Bitch!

"This is not fair, I want to go home! Can't I die like a normal person instead of this!" I cry.

Gandalf says something in a language I don't know, well no duh. A beam of light comes out of the staff and hits me in the chest.

"What did you just do Gandalf!" I cry in alarm.

"What the hell did you just do!" I scream in panic again and start to back away.

I trip over something and land on my butt. That red canister looking thing again. I get up in a huff and kick it.

"What is that?!" I hiss.

"It's what we were trying to warn you of Lass! It was Pips fault, the fire work went right for your stomach," Says Merry.

"It was not my fault! You're the one who lit it," Says Pip.

"Well yes, but you're the one who aimed where it was going to go," Replies Merry.

"Did not! Besides the lady just came out of nowhere," Counters Pip.

"I, I can understand," I say finally. Gandalf! That's what the beam of light was for. No way did he just do that, no way! Isn't it just something done in L.O.T.R fanfics?! Gandalf really has the ability to make someone understand middle earth languages? I can't help but burst into laughter.

Wait, if he can do serious magic and now can understand you ...

"Gandalf please send me home! I'll click my heels three times and yell 'there's no place like home' if I have to, just send me back home," I yell.

I miss my husband! I am so hungry I now finally realise. The strawberries in prison were not enough.

"What is your name and where are you from? Are you from another dimension?" Asks Gandalf.

Wait, what? How does Gandalf know about other dimensions? I am glad he knows about other dimensions, so this means I can go home surely.

"I am from another dimension, My name is Mrs Jade Snape," I reply.

"In the dimension you are from, is there a place called England?" He asks.

I gasp, NO way.

"Yes, yes there is!" I reply.

"You need to follow me," He says. He then turns to the Hobbits and says, "Cause mischief elsewhere little Hobbits."

I snort in amusement, I follow the wizard my feet start to hurt as I walk on the path instead of grass. It's then I remember my thongs (flip flops) were next to my bed in prison, back in Death Note land.

I wonder what happen? Did L see a body disappear, or what? Not to mention what happen back in Sydney.

"In your dimension what year is it?" Asks Gandalf.

"2014," I reply.

"Oh, that's very interesting," Says Gandalf.

Why would the wizard find that interesting ...

**A/N: **Now, if ... I were to, you know die again should I be A) Be greeted in Sydney by my family B) Go in a another dimension, if B, which one? :) JD


	2. Woah! Freak out

I am now being led to Bilbo's Hobbit hole. Cue the internal fan girl scream again. It's so cute! Peter Jackson failed in getting it right, so much better in real life.

Gandalf knocks on the door. Just two sharp knocks. It's irritating. I feel like Sheldon in that moment, having the need to finish my knock.

The door is answered by a Hobbit. He isn't as fat as Merry or Pip. How strange. I wish they looked like what they did in the movies, but they don't. I still don't know how they carry such weight being so short.

"Frodo, we have yet another dimension traveller, this is Mrs Jade Snape," Says Gandalf.

"Another? John wouldn't be happy about that, I assume you want to introduce her to him," Says Frodo then he led us in.

Poor poor Gandalf, he had to duck so low. It wasn't that bad for me but I still wasn't accustomed to ceilings so low though.

Frodo called John to join us in the front room. A man, who must be John came around the corner.

"Hello again John, we have news to tell you, this is Mrs Snape. She is from your dimension," Says Gandalf.

He is a man of roughly 5 foot nine. He has a moustache. I would say he could be younger than me. He looks early twenties.

"Another person trapped here is horrible news Gandalf," Says John. He sighs.

"So you're Mrs Snape, sorry this has happened to you. My name is Mr John Tolkien …

On hearing this news I did the only logical thing. I screamed "NO fucking WAY," then fainted.

After I had woken up and had a glass of water they wanted answers regarding my behaviour. What can I tell them? How can I explain that J.R.R Tolkien wrote a series of books of his experiences in this dimension and that they are still famous today?

"Sorry I was just … I can't believe our rotten luck. I thought you were … So, you're from England. I am from Australia," I reply. Playing dumb big time and also still shocked.

"You really are from my dimension, I've been stuck here for months now. The last thing I remember was suffering from trench fever," Replies John.

Trench fever? War injury … O.M.G, he must mean WW1.

This is completing blowing my mind THE MR Tolkien. Should I kiss his feet? Wait, what? Where did that thought come from? I readjust my glasses due from nerves.

"What's troubling is that Mrs Snape told me the year was 2014," Says Gandalf.

"2014! That's … that's almost a century in the future. I've only been gone a few months. I am never getting back am I? Even If I did, everyone I knew would be gone! Oh Edith," Cries Mr Tolkien.

I don't want him to be upset, what can I say to make him feel better. I have to tell him somewhat of the truth. I will wait until it's just us two though.

* * *

I told Mr Tolkien that I knew that he wrote novels and that they were released in the 30's. I didn't tell him what they were about though. Living in the Hobbit hole was such a treat! The food! Extraordinary sights that were shown to me by Mr Tolkien and Frodo. At night I worried for my family.

I got new clothes and shoes made up for me. My long black work skirt and long sleeved red collared shirt is now retired and replaced with 'I am on off one an adventure' outfit.

* * *

I can't believe I am actually off on an adventure! This is completely absurd; I should still be hiding in the Hobbit hole until I get sent back to the right dimension …

"This is it," Says Sam

"This is what," Replies Frodo

I roll my eyes, "The farthest his been from home, if he takes one more step," I whisper to Tolkien.

"If I take one more step it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been," Says Sam.

"I wouldn't be scared of taking that step if I were you, at least you're from this dimension," Replies Mr Tolkien.

BURN!

A/N: I don't own L.O.T.R. Thanks for reading peeps JD :)


	3. King?

As I continued traveling with the three I started to realise how much walking I was going to put myself through if I continued going with them. No amount of training will make me prepared for running those three days straight if I stayed with them long enough.

"Tell me more of what our world is like now?" Asks John.

I start to think about home and what changes have been made in the last one hundred years. The change that comes to my mind first is technology. There is too much to tell him though.

"We have a lot more convenience now, with a push of a few buttons we have our clothes washed, dried, and dishes washed. We can also watch movies in our own homes … medicines have improved a lot so we live a little longer," I answer.

Explaining how the internet works goes beyond my skills of a secretary. There are more important events I could go into but … I don't want to overwhelm him.

He does look a little overwhelmed.

"So are you going to finally tell me what I wrote about?" Replies John.

I make sure the Hobbits weren't paying attention.

"Lets just say the books are about little people who go on adventures," I reply.

Johns eyes widen in shock and he screams, "Knew it! I knew if I ever went back home, this place is what I would write about."

"SSSHHH, they can't know I am a 'know it all' of this world, I would be used for information and not to mention the enemy would love to know what I know. So please don't say anything. I am not even mentioned in your tale so I don't even know what happens to me," I counter.

"Mr. Frodo. Mr. Frodo!" Shouts Sam ahead of us.

Both John and I catch up to Sam just when Frodo bumps into Sam.

"I thought I lost you," Says Sam

"What are you talking about?" Replies Frodo.

"It's just something Gandalf said ..." Mumbles Sam.

"What did he say …" Replies Frodo.

"Don't you leave him, Samwise Gamgee. And I don't mean to … " Says Sam.

CUTE ATTACK!

"Sam ... we're still in the Shire ... what could possibly happen?" Replies Frodo, chuckling.

I didn't find that funny at all! Still in the shire? But but but we have been walking for AAaaGGESS.

Merry and Pip now crash our party of four, now there are six of us.

* * *

The six of us are now entering the Prancing Pony. The escape of the grim reaper looking dude … Ringwaith, was the most scariest experience ever!

I ended up grabbing a drink with the Hobbits. John and I end up talking about drinks and pubs back home. I told John about my visit to London a few years back …

"That fellow's done nothing but stare at you since we've arrived," Says Sam pointing to the corner of the pub. I look in the direction of THE Aragorn.

I gasp, he's scary looking! ER He looks roughly 7 feet tall! Rough looking. If he were in leather I'd say he was a bikie. That dude ends up a king?

Frodo grabs the attention of Butterbur, "Excuse me, that man in the corner, who is he?" Asks Frodo.

"He's one of them Rangers; they're dangerous folk they are, wandering the wilds. What his right name is, I never heard, but round here he's known as Strider," Replies the Barman.

Yup, the future king.

"Baggins? Sure, I know a Baggins ... he's over there ..." Cries Pippin.

Frodo jumps up and rushes over to stop Pippin. I saw Frodo talk to Pip. I gasp with everyone when Frodo disappears!

* * *

_Dear Diary, _

_Aragorn is evil, no second breakfasts and hardly any rest. We continued this long and evil journey to Rivendell for a while. I noticed to my chagrin all this exercise didn't make me magically lose weight. Also not washing made us smelled terribly and my hair ended up being more greasy than Aragorn's, for shame! It was scary seeing Frodo get hurt but it was worse when we had to make even more haste to Rivendell after that. _

_P.S. Sorry I neglected you for 15 years._

**A/N: **Thanks for reading, keep smiling! :)


	4. Council of mythical creatures

"So you're both dimensional traveller's," Says Elrond.

I cringe, and take a step back. Elves are not natural! Don't get me wrong they are as pretty and perfect looking as we were led to believe. They are so perfect though … like alien beautiful, not, not human beautiful. I am not use to it.

"Well yes we come from a different dimension, can you send us back?" Asks John.

"In the right years as well," I add.

"Not yet, we will be able to in the future," Replies Elrond.

"We wish you to be a part a of council meeting tomorrow, I find it's paramount that you two be there," Says Gandalf.

"Why?" I say; I am not needed there.

"Mrs Snape, I sense that you know more than you should," Says Gandalf.

You got that right.

Yeah you're a perfect 'knowitall'. SHUT UP! … hey, I was only agreeing with you.

"You are a risk, I sense this too. Why?" Asked Elrond.

I am sssooo not stupid enough to tell them anything. Middle Earth is very unpredictable. If I say something to warn them it could mean failure of the fellowship. Just me being at the council is a bad idea.

The information that the enemy would torture me for is too valuable. It could mean the end of this world.

_So, you really care for this adventure to stay canon?_ Really, why don't you change things? Would it really matter, you're dead … you keep forgetting this.

I grunt, Just because I am dead doesn't mean the whole of middle Earth has to suffer my wrath, "I could destroy this whole world!" I shout. OOppps! Now look what you've done.

"I mean I …

"You are a risk, you know too much about this world. I was correct," Says Gandalf. He leans on his staff and sighs, then says, "And I think Mr Tolkien has everything to do with it."

* * *

More Elves, dwarfs and men, Oh my!

"Strangers from distant lands ... friends of old. You have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle-earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite ... or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate ... this one doom ..." Announces Elrond

_Cheerful_.

"Bring forth the ring, Frodo," Says Elrond.

The ring is placed on the circular stone table then Frodo goes back to his seat. My eyes transfix on the one ring.

So shining, so beautiful, _My precious. _

"Jade?" Whispers John.

I shake my head, and notice my hand is raised in front me; towards the ring.

I put my hand down quickly. Woah, what was that about?

"So it is true! Sauron's Ring! The ring of power!" Says a Woman elf.

"It is a gift ... a gift to the foes of Mordor! Why not use this Ring? Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor, held the forces of Mordor at bay ... by the blood of our people are your lands kept safe. Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy ... let us use it against him!" Says Boromir.

"You cannot wield it. None of us can. The one ring answers to Sauron alone ... it has no other master," Says Aragorn.

"And what would a ranger know of this matter?" Counters Boromir.

Whoop whoop! Legolas saves the day! _You owe him your allegiance. _I smile.

The woman elf that spoke before gets up and says, "This is no mere Ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance."

My mouth pops open in shock, I go into a silent laughter. I start chuckling out loud now. John elbows my side. I stop. That, that is Legolas. I start to think of all legomances out there. I have read quite a lot of them … if we all knew Legolas made Cate Blanchett look butch I think we would burn all the legomances, for sure!

"Aragorn? This is Isildur's heir?" Replies Boromir.

"And heir to the throne of Gondor," Says the so called Legolas …

"Sit down, Legolas," Says Aragorn.

"Gondor needs no King," Replies Boromir.

"Aragorn is right ... we cannot use it," Says Gandalf.

"You have only one choice … the ring must be destroyed," Says Elrond.

Precious is going to be destroyed!

"Then ... what are we waiting for?" Cries Gimli, He destroys his axe trying to hack at it.

"Ouch that hurt my ears," I moan. Quit your moaning! SHUT IT.

"The ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of Gloin, by any craft that we here possess. The ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom ... only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor, and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came. One of you must do this," Announces Elrond.

"One does not simply walk into Mordor," I say.

EEppp sorry I just had to steal that line, who wouldn't?

Boromir turns to me and glares with hatred in his eyes, probably wondering how I knew what he was going to say.

" … Its black gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust ... the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly," Says Boromir.

"Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The ring must be destroyed," Says femLegolas.

"And I suppose you think you're the one to do it?" Cries Gimli.

"And if we fail, what then? What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?" Counters Boromir.

"I will be dead before I see the ring in the hands of an elf!" I cry.

Then to everyones dismay I start to laugh, I couldn't help but steal that line as well.

"Jade enough!" Cries Gandalf.

"She is a huge liability," Mutters Elrond then shakes his head.

I suppose keeping my adventure canon has gone out the window.

"Do you not understand? While we bicker among ourselves, Sauron's power grows! No one will escape it. You will all be destroyed, your homes burnt and your families put to the sword!" Says Gandalf.

"I will take it ... I will take it ... I will take the Ring to Mordor ... Though ... I do not know the way," Announces Frodo.

Brace yourself; declarations are coming.

"I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it is yours to bear," Says Gandalf.

"If, by my life or death, I can protect you, I will ... you have my sword," Says Aragorn

"You have my bow," Says the fem elf.

"And my axe," Adds Gimli.

"You carry the fate of us all, little one. If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done," Says Boromir.

"Mr. Frodo's not going anywhere without me," Shouts Sam.

"No, Indeed ... it is hardly possible to separate you ... even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not," Replies Elrond.

"Oi! We're coming too! You'll have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us. Anyway ... you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission ... quest ... thing ..." Says Pippin.

"Well, that rules you out, Pip," Sneers Merry.

"Elven companions … so be it," Says Elrond.

Ew, I am the eleventh "walker" … please don't tell me you called Tolkien a tenth walker, do you have no shame?

"You shall be the Fellowship of the ring," Announces Elrond.

"Great. Where are we going?" Says Pip.

"And they think you're a problem," Whispers John.

**A/N:** Thanks for reading! I was cracking up writing this ... I have such lame sense of humour I know hehe :)


	5. Are we there yet?

"We must hold to this course west of the misty Mountains for forty days. If our luck holds, the Gap of Rohan will still be open to us. From there, our road turns east, to Mordor," Announces Gandalf.

I raise my hand, "Excuse me, excuse me … did you just say forty days … you expect me to do this? … Come on, can't I hide In Rivendell?" I say.

Gandalf glares at me,

"Absolutely out of the question!" Cries Gandalf.

I don't understand this … shouldn't I be kept away from the enemies. I grunt in annoyance.

* * *

… "I am so fucking tired!" I cry.

"You use profanities too much Jade," Says John disgusted.

I laugh, "Shataz!" I counter. I smirk at my cleverness. It's the Orcish word for pest. Yes, funnily enough I know a little bit of Orcish from fanficing. Ding ding ding Warning Warning …

"What did you just say woman child?" Sneers Femlegolas.

"Nothing," I answer innocently.

"That was certainly not nothing, is that why Gandalf wants you to be guarded because you're dangerous," He says.

I scream when she quickly raised her arrow into my face.

"Why shouldn't we eliminate the risk?" He shouts.

"Legolas, put that down from my face!" I cry.

Wow this is just getting way too serious! I don't like this. Right … got it … no speaking in orcish.

"Legolas, lower your bow … please," Says Aragorn.

He glares at me but lowers his arrow then says, "I don't trust you, and I will kill you if you become a threat."

"eeepppp … " I manage to mutter.

After that I ended up shutting up my complaining. In fact after the threat from that bitch I don't feel up to talking with anyone right now. I keep walking in silence and try not to think of the blisters on my heels. I start humming Ain't no mountain high enough … "To keep me from getting to you … la te da duh da da da de da duh."

"What's that you're humming?" Asks John.

"Ain't no mountain high enough," I reply. The next twenty minutes I spend teaching John the lyrics.

"Is that your favourite song?" Asks John.

"I don't really have an all time favourite, I tend to have a favourite song of the week. I just started singing that song cause of the views I am seeing," I said lamely.

"It's a catchy song!" Interrupts Pippin. Then he starts singing the song.

I laugh at his antics, Hobbits have and always will be my favourite characters of this world, I smile.

"Can you teach us any more of your songs?" Asks Legolas.

"There's also a brilliant number by a lass named Lilly Allen called Fuck You … would you like me sing that one?" I say with mirth.

He stalks off annoyed. I suppose he thought if he questioned me about learning a song it would act as an olive branch between us. He would have to apologise for aiming his weapon at me before I will take him seriously.

"You know she is going to kill you if you keep acting like this," Says John worried.

"It's a he … I wasn't lying though, there is really a song called that," I reply.

"He … " Says John then he giggles like a school girl … CUTE ATTACK! It's funny to hear THE Mr Tolkien giggle like that.

Finally we stop for rest.

"Jade is it … I wanted to ask, you knew what I was going to say at the council, how is that?" Asks Boromir.

"She most certainly can't answer that," Cuts in Gandalf.

Borormir turns to Gandalf and says, "If she knows information, why can't she share with us the events that happen to our party?"

"She stole words from my mouth as well, tell us what you know to help us," Says Gimli.

"OK I will tell you …

"JADE!" Interrupts Gandalf.

"SSHH … just listen to what I have to say. I will tell you why I know things. Mr Tolkien here gets transported back into my dimension. He wrote a series of books about what happens here. I was born after Mr Tolkien and read his books. In fact in our world almost everyone has heard of the great members of the fellowship. So Mr Tolkien needs your protection more than I do … so your story can be told," I announce to them.

Gandalf looks to me surprised at what I said, but says nothing.

"We become legends in your world," Says Sam proud.

"Yes Sam," I reply.

"This is all fantastic and everything but you promised to give us sword lessons," Says Pippin to Aragorn.

I have some food … I stay clear from the lembas bread I learnt early on that lembas bread indeed fills you but isn't satisfying. Yeah I agree it's like having your favourite meal but all you crave and want is chocolate.

I watch them learn to use the sword. John joins them, John isn't that bad. It turned out John was actually sort of a decent user of the sword before he came into Middle Earth.

"If anyone were to ask for my opinion, which I note they have not, I would say we are taking the long way round. Gandalf, we can pass through the Mines of Moria. My cousin, Balin, would give us a royal welcome," Says Gimli.

I frown, if he were alive maybe.

"No, Gimli. I would not take the road through Moria unless I had no other choice," Replies Gandalf.

Boromir is tackling pippin to the ground, I notice.

"What is that?" Says Sam.

"Nothing ... it's just a wisp of a cloud," Says Gimli.

"It's moving fast ... against the wind," Says Boromir.

"Crebain from Dunland!" Cries Legolas.

AAAAHHHHH! I run for cover. After they leave we stumble out from our hiding spots.

"Spies of Saruman. The passage South is being watched. We must take the pass of Caradhras!" Announces Gandalf.

I start to hear the crunching of snow under our feet. The Snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen … SHUT UP! What did I tell you about Disney. Just let it go why don't you? nnAawww you so punny.

"Boromir?" I hear Aragorn say behind me. I turn.

"It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing ... such a little thing," Says Boromir.

"Boromir ... give the ring to Frodo," Aragorn Says sternly.

After a very tense moment he finally gives the ring back.

"As you wish. I care not," Says Boromir then ruffled his hair.

"He may be short but he is no child, ruffling peoples hair is SSSOOO demeaning," I whisper to John.

John came closer and whispers in my ear, "Should we be worried about Boromir?"

I shake my head. He dies from his own foolishness but he is no threat to the quest.

"There is a foul voice in the air," Says the Bitch … I mean Legolas.

"It's Saruman!" Replies Gandalf.

"He's trying to bring down the mountain. Gandalf! We must turn back!" Shouts Aragorn.

"No!" Cries Gandalf.

Gandalf starts chanting, I back away … it's more eerie in real life. I can feel his magical energy! Eeeppp.

Aragorn tries to protect me from the avalanche but I still get completely covered in snow. I cough and splutter when Aragorn pulls me out of the snow.

"THANKS so much," I say.

"We must get off the mountain! Make for the gap of Rohan and take the West road to my city," Says Boromir.

"The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard," Replies Aragorn.

"We cannot pass over the mountain. Let us go under it. Let us go through the mine of Moria," Says Gimli.

"Let the ringbearer decide," Announces Gandalf.

"We will go through the mines," Says Frodo eerily … he sounds like a robot, void of emotion.

"So be it," Says John.

We make it down to the door …

"It reads, "The door of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak, friend, and enter," Says Gandalf.

"What do you suppose that means?" Says Merry.

"It's quite simple. If you are a friend, speak the password and the doors will open. Gandalf raises his arms...

DUH dam dam … As expected it doesn't work …

"I am going to take a much needed nap," I say I sit down away from the water and start to dose off.

I gasp and wake from the noise of the door opening.

OH CRAP!

**A/N: **Thank you so much for your reviews/following/favs for this fic, I hope you enjoyed this update. I must say your reviews made me happy! Keep smiling peeps :) JD


	6. There's no place like

"You shall not pass!" Cries Gandalf.

I smile the biggest the smile. I start laughing in glee. This is SO epic! Once in a lifetime experience for sure! After so many days of walking it's cool to finally see some epic moments.

I watch in amazement when the bridge collapses still laughing with joy. Oopss he falls from the creatures whip. Then soon will begin his fall and fight with the balrog. Ever since being dead this is the happiest I have felt. I actually start to do a dance in excitement.

"Fly, you fools!" Cries Gandalf.

I chuckle then I run. Even with my head start they caught up easily. After so much walking I am getting use to it but I still can't ran as fast as them … well no duh.

We tumble out into the open and every one starts crying … Not me I can't help but be happy.

"WHAT is wrong with you woman child?" Asks Legolas angrily.

"Why did you not warn us Jade? … Without Gandalf our mission would surely fail," Says Aragorn.

"Look … I know I might seem strange but please let me have my moment … I have died twice and what just happened was my favourite part, and I haven't been very happy in this world," I answer.

We had to continue but every one was avoiding talking to me due to my good mood.

After about an hour,

"Died twice Lass? What do you mean by that?" Says Gimli.

I explained to him my adventure in world of Death Note.

"That's sounds like quite an adventure … so you said Gandalf's fall was you're favourite part?" He Asks.

"Yes," I reply.

He nods, "Is it because he comes back?" He whispers.

I shake my head … I just love the line. He gets upset. Darn it … wish I could say something. Why don't you? … Nah they will find out soon enough.

* * *

Haldir leads us to Galadriel.

"Ten there are, yet elven there were set out from Rivendell. Tell me, where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him," Says Celeborn.

Correction! Eight there are, yet nine there were set out from Rivendell. Tell me … The real line is so much better.

"He has fallen into shadow. The Quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail, to the ruin of all ... Yet hope remains while the company is true. Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now and rest for you are weary with sorrow and much toil," Says Galadriel.

_Yet you are not troubled by Gandalf's fall, for you know what is to come._ _You miss your home child but you will return. You have to go through the channels you have come to get here, for a moment you need to be sent through the Death Note dimension to go back home. When you return it will be like you never left. Your husband, parents and your two sisters will not have noticed your disappearance.  
_

EEppp … I visibly cringe. _Sorry … not used to magic, no magic in my dimension. Thank you, I really do want to go back! I miss my family so much.  
_

I then have a great meal and sleep … I mean the biggest sleep session in history!

* * *

We are now sailing on the little boats … this means I am close to end of book 1! Galadriel was so nice; she gave a necklace with a piece of Jade on it … no really! Jade is also the colour green in this dimension.

_May it be a way for you to remember magic exists. _

Ever since we left John has been so silent, I wish I knew what his gift was. I think the talk he had with Galadriel spooked him into silence.

* * *

"HALFING!" Cries an Orc.

Eeeppp he caught me behind a tree. I am no Hobbit! I am not _that _short! Nor am I _that _fat. I don't correct him though because the phrase 'No spoiling' comes to mind.

He runs and picks me up. "AAAAAHH!"

I see Boromir full with arrows … I start to cry. Didn't give two hoots huh? OK, obviously seeing him dead in real life is totally different.

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_Pippin and Merry were my heroes; they saved me from my binds and then the three of us escaped into the forest. We meet Gandalf again … the Hobbits now didn't mind I was a complete happy weirdo when Gandalf fell. I was introduced to the creature Tree Beard. Then we went to see the evil Saruman! It turns out THE Mr Tolkien took part in the battle of Helms deep. Can you believe it? How could he be that crazy! The nine foot crazed beasts scared the hell out of me. I would have stayed in the caves with the rest of the women and children. I ended up hiding in the 'bedchambers' at Minas Tirith when that nonsense was going on._

* * *

Elrond hands me a bottle filled with what looked like a potion. What is this, some Harry Potter magic? Ba dum tsss.

"This will allow you to go back into your dimension, this drink was especially brewed for you. It's very powerful and takes a lot time and energy to make, that is why I couldn't give this to you before," Says Elrond.

"Thank you so much!" I answer.

I hug and say goodbye to the fellowship members … even Miss Bitch.

"Goodbye Jade … I want to tell what the elves have gifted me with. I will go back to our dimension but … when the time comes I will enter back into middle earth for the rest of time as an immortal elf. I have been given this gift from the elves due to my love for this world and … funnily enough my skills in writing their history," Says John.

I …

"Really?" I say, then burst into tears.

"What's wrong?" Replies John worried.

"I am just SSOO happy … I mean not only is lord of the rings real but you get to stay here!" I answer.

After even more goodbyes I drink the potion.

"BYE!" I cry … I yawn then everything goes black.

I gasp and open my eyes.

"JADE!" Cries L.

"AAAHH, L … ooopps I forgot I had to go back through Death Note to go back home … Long story short I AM FINALLY going home!" I say to L.

"So you'll be OK? At first I was worried another Kira killed you, then your body disappeared," Replies L.

I start to feel sleepy.

"OH no looks like I am going, bye … you were always my favourite character …

Blackness overcame me again.

"STAND clear doors closing! BARP BARP BARP DING DING DING!" Blared the train announcement.

I jolt awake! OH Crap … I hastily pick up my book that had fallen to the floor. I look up to find I was one station away from my train stop. Woah! What an intense dream. I half expected to still be wearing 'I am off on an adventure outfit'. Which I notice I wasn't. Yeah, like you were the chosen one to go on such a cool adventure? What makes you so special? SHUT UP!

When I am at the train door it's then I notice the horrible weather! It's pouring!

I quickly rummage through my back pack for my umbrella. It's at the bottom of my bag; I haven't had to use it for a while. I quickly open up my umbrella before I exit the carriage.

As I start to walk home the thunder is really loud and scary. It's OK, I am going to be home in less than ten minutes. I snigger to myself when I see someone ran past me using a newspaper as "Protection".

I start to feel annoyed; my feet are cold and wet. Well if you weren't wearing thongs (flip flops) this wouldn't be happening now would it? True, but then my work shoes would be destroyed earlier then they are. The woes of being a 'heavy walker'.

Eeep I mentally think when I hear the thunder behind me. I start to walk a little faster so I could get home quicker.

I finally reach home.

"Gizmo!" I call to my beautiful black cat. I pick up the cutey and snuggle him. I check the time, I have an hour before Jesse comes home, I start to cook dinner for us then I decide to change in pjs. When I start to remove my hoodie I notice ...

The piece of Jade that's around my neck! I touch it to make sure it's real.

_May it be a way for you to remember magic exists._

It was real! My adventure wasn't just some dream. I smile. That means … John he … Mr Tolkien became an elf! I quickly ran to my bookshelf and quickly flicked to certain pages of the L.O.T.R trilogy. Nothing seemed out of place …

I open my laptop then Googled Death Note ... nothing was changed … I only impacted on certain dimensions … there must be thousands upon thousands out there. So in one dimension of Death Note, L survived because of me.

I Google searched Mr Tolkien to find out more about what he did other than Lord of the rings when he returned to our dimension, It's then I discovered the year he died.

1973

Backwards … 3 7 9 1

_**Three**__ rings for the elven kings under the sky, __**Seven**__ for the dwarf-lords in their halls of stone, __**nine**__ for the mortal men doomed to die, and __**one**__ for the dark lord on his dark throne. _

**A/N**: Thank you so much for following, reading, reviewing. Jade (me) has two sisters! Thinking of them going on adventures with me would be funny because of how different we are! No joke ... (they are both 5,11 where as I am short (4,11) and they don't read what I read, neither have finished/read HP, death note, lotr or hunger games! Neither read fanfiction) Oh and yes Jade is the middle child ... but I am sure that was assumed when I stated Jade had two siblings :p Who knows I may continue this ... If I do, it could be thrice dead? HAHA I hope this ending is ok though, I am actually a little worried about ending it as 'yay and she goes back' ... JD


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